Sunday, June 23, 2013

Jean Shop Destroyed Denim Jacket $79.95 (was $440.00) From anthropologie. Haha.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Patricia Michaels

I was sad Patricia Michaels didn't win Project Runway this season. I watch PR because I love the creative process- selecting the materials, constructing, and watching it all come together. Of course, a lot of people end up constructing garments that look like they could be hanging in Zara, but still, you know, talent and craft.

Patricia is an extremely talented textile artist and she made most of her own fabrics, or modified them dramatically. She is Native American and considers her work part of her heritage, though she communicated this primarily with her work (and was definitely one of the nicest, best-adjusted contestants on the show.) It was very touching when she gave her speech on the finale, partially in her native language. 

I can see why she didn't win; her work was less commercially viable and some of it was a little artsy/off-trend. Plus Nina hated her. However, Patricia was responsible for so many amazing, fashion-forward looks that she actually created out of her own hands. Her clothing was unique and exciting.

And lastly, she was not boxed in by trends. As it was often stated on the show, Patricia's inspiration came from her, not anyone else. 

All the paillettes on this dress...she made them out of mica, hammered them and everything!!! The headpiece is dyed horsehair. The way it bobbed down the runway was really captivating.

Hand-painted leather jacket.

Her avant-garde look for a challenge.

Handmade eagle feather scarf.

Anyway, best of luck to Patricia. I see no way she can't have won a zillion fans and potential customers through the show. The fashion world could use more designers like her.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Punkest Night of Yr Life

Wait, what was the point of having the Met Balls theme be "punk?" Wasn't nobody dressed very punk as far as I can see! But then since the theme was "punk", it seems like no one wanted to have good hair, even though punk hair is like, often really important. 

Anne Hathaway was like, "Punk? Whoops, I thought you said Russian Mail order bride!" 

What the fuck is this hobo-looking outfit? You can't even see the graphic on the sweatshirt, which apparently is Balenciaga. Is it punk because it looks really thrown together even though it costs $5K? The answer is no. 

This look is so, "OMG! I totally heard, like, punk was the theme, so I have this really cute $10K jacket with gold studs and this weird studded comb, to like  put in my unstyled punk hair which looks totes bizarre! Who wants Smirnoff Sorbet Lite???" 

Haha. A lot of women hit the eyeliner really hard in their efforts to punk it up. This photo is so funny, their dissattached body language and faces. I mean, that's what makes it fuckin PUNK ROCK.

Okay, its not very "punk", but it's a cool, 30's-inspired dress. BUT WHAT IS THAT HAIR. Punks do their hair, people. It's not like doing your hair is not the tradition of punk. It's actually often a crucial part of the look. But I guess Taylor Swift and her stylist weren't aware.

Miley Cyrus is def. the punkest of all these celebrities, so far (take that, Carine Roitfeld!!!) and I also deem her look the punkest so far. The spiky hair and jagged, covered-up look of her dress is atypical. She looks like she's in Roxette or something, the greatest punk band of our times.

Here's Madonna, who used to be pretty punk before she started talking with a British accent. Anyway, this outfit is weird and not very fun to look at, and why gray plaid but whatever at least she acknowledged the theme and isn't wearing a white strapless dress like half these fools.
And the crotch cross is a nice touch.

This woman gets it!

Heidi got this from the David's Bridal Up the Punx collection.

The shadows in the sateen fabric make it look like her crotch neva ends. Alls I know is, if J. Lo is standing behind you, move away. You can't outshine that light.

In conclusion, I guess it's reassuring all these rich celebs and socialites did a bad job with even a high-end punk-inspired look. Even though it's the Met Ball, it seems most people's stylists are worried their clients will look too extravagant if they wear, like, a necklace or have big hair. And that's sad because we are all here for the spectacle, and when it comes down to it, there's not really that much to look at. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Classic RITS- Mary's Musings: Ladies in Comedy/Take That, Horatio Sanz

Hey dudes! I've decided to "recycle" (or wait, let's call it "upcycle"; nothing obnoxious about that word) some classic Rip it To Shreds posts. I enjoy rereading them from time to time, and perhaps you will too! Now, a post about Comedy from 2008.

I started to read this Vanity Fair profile of Tina "The New American Sweetheart" Fey, and like three-quarters of the way through it, I realized it was entirely, entirely about the way she looks. She used to be 150 pounds! Ohmygod, so fat! And by "fat', we mean normal but of course that's unacceptable and she'll never be on the cover of VF half-nude! That scar! We have to know! But now she wears low-cut tops and Seven jeans and looks "like a really pretty graduate student!" Not old, guys! Kind of hot! She and Sarah Palin are both "hot librarian" types! Guys, she's smart and funny and PRETTY, did you hear? Inititally she was told she wasn't hot enough to be on SNL, haha! Keep in mind that's a show that featured Horatio Sanz! Then she went to Weight Watchers! Steve Martin used to ignore her but hit on her after she lost weight! That's fun and flattering, right? Not gross that an accomplished, talented writer and comedian can only get attention for being hot, right?

(By the way, Rachael Dratch was supposed to play Jane Krakowski's role on 30 Rock, but was nixed for not being hot enough. Also, whatever happened to Cheri Oteri? Also, is Jimmy Fallon really getting a late night talk show? Really? Is he going to start cracking up at his own weak delivery? Maybe bust out the acoustic guitar and forget some lines? Oooh, I hope Horatio Sanz will be involved. Have we heard from him since that movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. where he pretended to be gay on a cruise ship? Snow Dogs?)

At first, I was like, "Obviously a dude wrote this," but of course it was actually Maureen Dowd, who is one of those weird writers like Camille Paglia who are labeled as feminists but have dubious cred and kind of seem to hate women- Dowd, of course, once accused Al Gore of being so feminine (because he cared about the environment!) that he was "practically lactating." And, of course, Vanity Fair is a totally obnoxious, sexist magazine that I have always hated, long before I actually read the editor's letter about women not being funny. Which I did read, and not that many people seemed to concerned about at the time.

It barely needs to be said that funny women are rarely represented in comedy. Mostly they are the sexy girlfriends who roll their eyes at their hilarious manchild of a boyfriend (hey second coming of Seth Rogan's career), or, if they are in a romantic comedy, or tween comedy, they are the sexy but prat-fall prone hapless moppet, someone charmingly clumsy but with perfect hair. And then, the real female comedians are few and far between, and can rarely match the success of their male counterparts. And, of course, if they do, they are constantly subjected to an in-depth examination of their looks and/or massive amounts of airbrushing.

Anyway, I could go on about how I hate Sarah Silverman's ditzy "I am five years old" delivery (hey, even if you're making a "funny" pose, you're still just posing in Maxim in your underwear) or how we are sadly lacking the salty, older-woman comedy stylings of such luminaries as Phyllis Diller (up there in the yellow) and Joan Rivers, but what I'm really, really trying to say is that Amy Sedaris should be more famous, not only because she is hilarious and unique, but because she is one of the few comedians who actually challenges what it means to be a woman in comedy, and does not rely on being cute or airbrushed to make her point. And, unlike other female comedians who still try to hard to entice their male (and female) fans, she actually makes an effort to fearlessly gross people out, which seems to be one of the number one of- limits topics for female comedians, because it shows that you are more than your boobs and/or your potential hotness. At the same time, Amy does not deny that she is a woman and women are funny; she just celebrates ballsy, overlooked female archetypes in a way that distances her own looks from her characters, at the same time illustrating that women can be just as loud, campy, revolting, sexual, and funny as any other comedian.

PS: If you're not familiar with Amy Sedaris, I'd like to recommend both her TV show, Strangers With Candy, and her book, I Like You, which is a take-off on retro household hints types books. Speaking of which, I am obsessed with retro household hints-type books and will be doing a post on them soon!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Good Attitude

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Jenny Archetype: Greasy Hair, Broken Dreams

Remember Jenny? Sure, Forrest Gump himself had adventures a-plenty, but poor Jenny just had bad stuff happen to her. The quintessential crappy female character, Jenny was there for Forrest to save, much like the woman Sling Blade saved in that terrible movie. Lank and downtrodden, Jenny was constantly being abused and exploited. Sadly, Jenny never gets her own story or power. The movie ends with her getting pregnant with Forrest's child and then dying. 

This sort of downtrodden, abused and passive female character is an archetype in American cinema. Often from the wrong side of the tracks, the Jenny can be anything from an abused hooker to an abused housewife. She has lived hard, and she will probably have sex with/be saved by the main character, who may or may not be mentally deficient. Her lank, greasy hair and unfashionable-by-Hollywood-standards wardrobe are also keys to her inner pysche. Generally considered "low class", the Jenny probably won't be getting married any time soon, being much more likely to die in some harrowing way before the movie ends.

Speaking of women who are abused and have sex with Billy Bob Thorton, here's Halle Berry in Monster's Ball. I remember seeing this movie for free cause my friend worked at a movie theater, and then my other friend was like, "This is the worst movie ever" and we left. True story.

In Broken Flowers, Bill Murray wonders why all the women he used to date are like, such old bitches now even though he's still so cool and great. He briefly has an encounter with a Jenny type, played by Tilda Swinton, but luckily she fends him off with a shotgun.

Here's Emily Blunt in 2012's pretty boring Looper. Okay, she does some stuff, but mostly the stuff involves protecting her son who happens to be magic, which has some convoluted connection to the plot of the movie. And she's only abused by her magic son. She does have sex with the main character, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt, and she sure is downtrodden!

What are some other examples of this character? I know there are a ton more, but this was all I could think of. Gaby suggested "every role Jennifer Jason Leigh has ever played."

Thursday, January 31, 2013

More Stuff

Even more eBay auctions!
And I've got a tumblr now: Rip it to Shreds